In denial

This weekend I did a few things that I don’t like doing. And a few things I do. We went on a date without kids (even Gwen stayed home) and had yummy fajitas. I love hanging out with Aaron, even if he is watching the navy football game at the restaurant.

We cleaned up the guest room and made me a little crafting/sewing space. Very excited about that. Aaron found a desk and we purged lots of stuff to make it fit. I love to purge. It’s very freeing.

We got to witness a dear friend, Ashley, get baptized today. So great. In the ocean. So powerful. There is something really neat about an adult being baptized. They probably aren’t doing it because they were the right age, or their friends were doing it, or their parents made them. I got to document it and I’m so glad my camera decided to die after it was all over…that’s another story.

And then I did stuff I don’t like…pulling out the too small clothes and digging for new clothes in the tubs of hand-me-downs from the cousins (thank you, Heather and Angie). Sometimes it makes me smile, like when I pull out a USNA tshirt that Aaron bought for my nephew, Jack, years before we even met. It should fit Sam now. But mostly it makes me really sad to put the newborn clothes away and know that we’ll probably never pull those out again. No, our family isn’t complete but we probably won’t grow our family biologically from here. Gwen is growing so stinking fast and I’m in denial that she’s already growing out of her 3-6 month stuff. She was a newborn for about 2 weeks and then she was just all baby. Ugh.

She’s also starting to eat less often and sleep longer at night (which is great…don’t get me wrong). But I can’t believe it’s already time for that. She’s not even four months. But I still get to watch her fall asleep and watch her look up with me as nurses while smiling with her eyes. She is such a great baby…I think I could have about 12 more of her.

Why is it all screaming by? And why does my camera have to go to crap on a day like today when I’m all sentimental and want to document every moment. Agh…

Funny. I just memorized psalm 103 and you know what it says?

“For He Himself is mindful of our frame, He knows we are but dust. As for man, his days are like the grass. Like the flower of the field so he flourishes. But when the wind passes over it, it is no more and it’s place acknowledges it no longer.”

It screams by and I’m trying so desperately to take it in. Trying to not let the laundry, dishes, diapers, messes, and whining steal the thankfulness I have for today.

((What helps you not live in denial when it’s all going so fast??))


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