It’s like being 39 weeks.

I have been thinking about this last ‘trimester’ of the deployment and I can liken it to pregnancy in so many ways. A dear friend of mine (who had a baby a month ago) and I had a talk about this and could relate in so many ways.

The first trimester sucks and you usually cry or are sick and you just can’t wait until you get a new groove and enjoy being pregnant. This deployment has been the same…we got our new groove about a year ago in the spring and after all the tears and fears began to subside (when I saw I was doing this thing called deployment-induced single parenthood), we embraced where we were and did it. Not that it was pretty, but we managed, we played and laughed and I have good memories of this past summer.

We looked forward to Christmas and going to see Aaron and that is a lot like when people look forward to the 20 week appointment…finding out the gender! A milestone. (One I didn’t do though, ha.) Going to Bahrain was a huge milestone for us. We went a long stretch without Daddy and then we had a full dose of him in his world and it was awesome. Like pregnancy, we started talking and planning about life back together and how we’d readjust. It was an exciting time full of good and difficult discussions.

And then the third trimester hit. My blog posts waned. I waned and have been weary. I have been tired and ready for this ‘pregnancy’ to be over already. I’m tired of ‘being fat’ (living without Aaron) and ready to move on to his coming back to us (birth, in a weird way). I find myself nesting…getting the house ready. Finishing projects, forgetting to pick up the camera, buying a few new clothes, finding a ‘welcome home’ outfit (like the coming home outfit), reading parenting and marriage books, and enjoying the last few days of just ‘us’ (me and the kids).

Change is a comin and though we don’t know how we’ll do, we’re going to do it. Just like we did when we brought Sam home. And then Gwen.

{Speaking of Gwen…she’s quite the funny little lady. Here’s a commercial break of her odd numbered counting and her Hip Hip Hooray…Saves the Day! SuperWhy anyone?}

I’m glad I’ve experienced the truth that ‘you won’t be prego forever’ to remind me that this deployment will end. We’ve had a bumpy last trimester and I’m ever grateful to see God’s hand of mercy on me. I had a large dose of alone time while our kids went to Oklahoma. I have the type of friends that come scour my house with me when a necessary technological device has gone missing. I have had stuff stolen from our house and I was able to find a replacement for half price. Learning to hunger more for Jesus has made my grip loosen on things I love and have enjoyed this year to be ready to grasp better things. Namely Jesus and His best plans for me. For us.

I’m ready. I’m ready for the next season and though most people will think life will fall back into place again, we get the privilege of rebooting. Rebooting our marriage, our parenting, our family, our priorities, our pursuit of each other as we hope to fall more in love with Jesus and with each other. Counseling is on the schedule. Lots of downtime to relearn how to play, communicate, discipline, and be the family unit we’re supposed to be.

God has been such a refuge for us this year. He has loved us in Spirit, in the community that has cared for us (here and Bahrain), in his truth that has rooted us deeper, and in his risen Son that gave us, and still gives us, every reason to get out of bed and face tomorrow. He is the source of life and He is the one that holds all things together. I see this more than ever.

And since I’m ‘pregnant’ awaiting my hubby’s return, I’m going to go eat a huge bowl of ice cream and go to bed while I still can at 9:27. Just kidding, kinda.

To all of you who have journeyed with us through comments, visits, texts/phone calls, and prayers….thank you. Your obedience in being a tangible Incarnation to us has blessed us greatly.

 

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